Waiting
by paranoidangel
Summary: Elrond and Arwen wait for Celebrían's return after the attack at the Redhorn Pass on her way to Lórien.
1. Prologue Elrond

_In 2509 Celebrían wife of Elrond was journeying to Lórien when she was waylaid in the Redhorn pass and her escort being scattered by the sudden assault of the Orcs, she was seized and carried off. She was pursued and rescued by Elladan and Elrohir, but not before she had suffered torment and had received a poisoned wound. She was brought back to Imladris, and though healed in body by Elrond, lost all delight in Middle-earth, and the next year went to the Havens and passed over Sea._

Appendix A, Eriador, Arnor, and the heirs of Isildur 

Elrond paced the room. He had done it so often that he knew the exact number of steps it took to get from one side to another. From the door he took five steps until he could see out of the window. He looked out, surveying the all that he could see. However there was no-one new out there, only the elves of Imladris going about their business. Turning his back he took another five steps, reaching the open doorway once more. He had once demonstrated this to Arwen when she had been a young elfling and it had taken her some time and practice to discover why she could not cross the distance using the same number of paces with her shorter legs. 

Arwen seemed so calm, much more so than himself. She must have inherited that from her mother. She had been busy while they were waiting and Celebrían would return to find their house spotless and their gardens blooming. They were not usually Arwen's tasks but she detested doing nothing as much as he did. 

Thinking of his wife, as he done much in the past few days, he inadvertently conjured up an image of her in his mind so vivid that when he turned towards the doorway he almost expected her to come through it unharmed. He was not only waiting for his wife however. It was likely that if she was hurt and Lórien was closer, Elladan and Elrohir would take her there. 

The one thing he would not allow himself to think about was if Celebrían was dead. The thought of never seeing her again made him feel as if someone had taken hold of his heart and squeezed. He just did not know how to live without her anymore. When he slept it was the only thing he saw in his dreams. So he stopped sleeping. She was coming back, she had to. 


	2. Chapter One Arwen

Arwen pushed her food around her plate, every so often sneaking glances through the window. Her favourite place at the moment was the window seat in her bedroom. From there she could see Imladris laid out below her. When Celebrían returned Arwen would know instantly. 

Family dinners were not the same with just the two of them. Usually Arwen would welcome the chance to spend some time with her father without anyone else to compete with for his time. However, at the moment she had competition from her mother. He had been chronically unable to think of anything else. He would show her affection and share in the grief of the unknown, but she had begun to grow tired of making sure he was all right, he was sleeping, he was eating. She wanted him to think of her for a change. 

"Arwen, eat your food, don't just move it about." 

"Sorry, father." Her reply was instinctive after many years. Elrond had always expected his children to do as they were told, although he was more lenient with Arwen than he had been with her brothers. 

"I'm not that hungry," she said. 

"Why not? It is dinnertime. Are you ill?" 

She gave a laugh at that but it was not a happy one. "My mother is missing or hadn't you noticed?" 

"I have noticed," he said, but his voice sounded odd. When she looked at him more closely she saw he also hadn't eaten very much. Furthermore he was pale and looked as bad as she felt. He turned his gaze away from the window to look at her. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "We can't understand each other. You don't have a husband to miss and I don't remember my mother." 

"We can try," she said. "I keep looking out of the window and seeing the other elves going about their business as if everything was normal and it isn't." 

"No, it isn't. Perhaps you should stop looking out of the window so much." 

"Maybe you should too." His gaze had wondered back over to the window again. 

He rose and moved round the table to take hold of her hand. "Why don't we abandon dinner," he said, "and I will tell you a tale of your mother?" 

She smiled and stood. "I'd like that." 

*** 

As Arwen rounded the corner to her father's room she heard him talking to someone but she could hear no other voice but Elrond's. She moved closer to peer around the edge of the doorway. 

"Where are you? What are they doing to you?" he was saying. Arwen could just see the edge of a picture of her mother behind him. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Are you even still alive?" 

It startled Arwen somewhat, as Elrond had always been so strong and it scared her a little to see him falling apart. She must have made a noise for he spun around to look at her. Was that a tear she saw in his eye? 

"Arwen," he said. 

Arwen didn't know what to say or how to react to what she'd obviously not been meant to hear. So instead she flung her arms around him to give him - and herself - some comfort. 

"I'm supposed to be comforting you, not the other way round," he said. 

Arwen gave a laugh but it turned into a sob and she buried her face in his chest. As he held her and whispered soothing words to her she almost felt like a young child whose father could do anything. 

"It's late," he said, when she pulled away and began to dry her eyes. "You should get some sleep." 

"I was coming to tell you that." 

"I can't," Elrond replied. "What if she returned while I slept?" 

"Then someone would wake you, you know that." 

Elrond shook his head. "How can I sleep when I am safe at home and she is not? I should be out there looking for her."  


"We've discussed this before. I know how you feel, for I feel it too. But what if they found her and were bringing her back as you rode out and you missed each other? You should be here when she returns." 

Elrond held Arwen's gaze for a moment before answering. The daughter of Elrond was as stubborn as he was. 

"I'll sleep if you will." 

"Can I sleep in your bed?" she asked, the same way she had as an elfling when she'd had a bad dream. 

He kissed her on the forehead and smoothed her hair away from her face. "I'd like that," he said and for the first time it occurred to Arwen that her father might not like sleeping in his bed without her mother there. 

*** 

Arwen awoke from pleasant dreams to find her father stroking her hair. It was soothing and she lay there half asleep, enjoying his affections. Elrond, perhaps thinking she was still asleep whispered to her. 

"I didn't tell you how much you meant to me, my Undómiel. I didn't tell your brothers or your mother. I might not ever get the chance to tell her." 

"She knew," Arwen said softly. The hand on her head paused then resumed its previous motion. "We all do. It doesn't always need words." 

"Deeds are more powerful than words," Elrond mused. 

"And your actions shout from the rooftops of Imladris." 

Elrond gave a chuckle at that and Arwen turned to face him. 

"I remember her explaining to me when I was younger that she loved you. I asked her how she knew you felt the same way and she told me it was because you worried about her when she wasn't there and cared when she was. Also because you let her go to Lórien." 

Elrond took a breath in and looked sharply at her. 

"You knew she would have gone, even if you had said no. She would have found a way to persuade you." 

"And how can I deny her anything?" 

*** 

Arwen wandered round her room. She felt more awake now for the few hours sleep she'd had the previous night. She now realised why Elrond stayed awake. With her head clear it was easier to think and her thoughts tended to head in directions she didn't want them to go in. Her eyes fell on a necklace of Celebrían's she had borrowed for dinner a few days beforehand. She hadn't given it back before Celebrían had left for Lórien but had been intending to do so when her mother returned. 

She picked up the necklace and examined it. The Evenstar pendant had been a family heirloom of her mother's. Apart from its beauty, in all respects it was an ordinary necklace - perhaps Elrond had thought of it when he first called her his Evenstar. Her mother had promised that one day it would be hers, although she had not said when that day would be. For now it was for her to borrow not to keep. Almost absent-mindedly she stopped running it through her fingers and put it on. Perhaps today it would give her strength. 

How many days had it been now? She had lost count. How many days more would it be? She thought of all the things she would normally be doing, but discarded them all as being frivolous. At first she had been angry and afraid at what happened and had taken that anger out on the house and gardens. Now though she merely felt afraid and there was no way to purge that. She considered taking a walk but Elrond would probably want her near. She also didn't want her mother to return and her not be there. Thinking of her father she decided to go and check on him, glancing through the windows on the way in case her mother had returned already. 

Elrond was in his room - he had not left there since the message came of Celebrían's capture. He was sitting on the bed, reading. Arwen wondered how he could concentrate enough to read anything until she came closer and realised the pages had her mother's writing on them. If her mother were to die would she also lose her father? Unable to help herself she gave a cry, startling Elrond. 

"Arwen, what's wrong?" he said, putting the letter he held down on the bed and looking up at her. 

"What if she doesn't come back? What if she's dead?" 

"She's not." 

"You don't know that. Don't treat me like an elfling." 

"I'm not, Arwen, but you have to believe that she's alive. I have to believe that. This waiting is intolerable enough but I couldn't do it if I were waiting for your brothers to find her body." 

Arwen knelt at her father's feet, put a hand on his knee and looked into his eyes. "You will always be here won't you? You won't leave me, father?" 

Elrond paused and she felt her worst fears being confirmed. "I can't promise you that, Arwen, you know that." 

Arwen nodded. He was right, she did know that, but now she wanted him to lie, promise her he would always be here. Instead she reached out to take his hand. "Will you promise me something?" 

"If it is in my power to grant." 

"If mother is... If mother doesn't come back don't.." she swallowed. "I couldn't bear to lose my father as well." 

Elrond's response was to hug her. It only occurred to her later that he had never promised. 

*** 

Arwen decided to go outside for some fresh air. The day was warm and the sun was shining. A perfect day - if it was not for one thing. She idly fingered the pendant still round her neck. She suspected that her mother intended to give it to her on her wedding day - that was when Galadriel had given it to Celebrían. 

She considered the pain Elrond felt now and wondered if it was worth it. Assuming she ever found someone she loved enough to marry. None of the elves in Imladris or Lórien had so far taken her heart. But she was in no rush. She was happy here. Or she would be if things were to return to normal but she knew they never would be. Her father would be unlikely to let her mother out of his sight once she returned. 

Her reverie was interrupted by noise nearby and she turned to see Elladan riding towards their house shouting for herself and their father. She looked up to his window but could see nothing. Surely he had heard and seen and was on his way. But he had not yet appeared. She went back inside to find him. 

She ran all the way to his room although running was forbidden in the house. He would overlook this indiscretion for these circumstances. She called to him as she ran, wondering why he didn't answer. Reaching Elrond's bedroom she burst in and found the reason he had not been seen. He had fallen asleep in a chair. She almost didn't want to wake him up. It was probably the first time he had slept since they had heard of the attack and Celebrían's capture - even in the first few days when they knew Elladan and Elrohir could never return in such a short time. Her dilemma was soon solved when Elrond blinked and looked at her. 

"She's here, father." 


	3. Epilogue Celebrían

_My big dilemma is how to decide_

_Whether I should stay here or I should go -_

_Remaining, my family would divide_

_But if I sailed that would happen also._

__

_I'm unsure I can't live without my wife_

_I know in the west I would be welcome._

_In this land is my happiness and life_

_Middle-earth has forever been my home._

__

_Living alone here will not be easy_

_Nor to my one love if I say farewell._

_But I have my responsibility -_

_The last homely house here in Rivendell._

__

_But now my choice means our sons and daughter_

_Must choose between their father and mother._

*** 

Celebrían could see her husband and children although she couldn't hear what was being said. They stood in a secluded spot near the house where they would not be disturbed and Celebrían had stayed in her bedroom where it was safe. She couldn't bear to hear Elrond say the same words to their sons and daughter that he had said to her. Elrond had his back to her but she knew what the expression on his face was. It had been sad yet hopeful ever since she returned. That hope had faded a little every day until there was nearly none left. 

Looking at her husband and children - the only joy left in her life - she wished they could all stay together. But there were people here on Middle-earth that needed Elrond more than she did. Yet if it wasn't for her family she would not have survived this long. Elrond had hardly left her side since she'd been brought here - rescued by their sons. Now they would be parted by a much greater distance than ever before and for how long neither of them knew. She saw Elrond take Arwen into his arms and the twins looked decidedly uncomfortable as they frowned at Elrond, Elrohir frozen in the act of brushing a strand of hair from where it had blown in his face. So, he had told them. She wondered what choice they would make. 

Once she was well - or at least somewhat better - Elladan and Elrohir had gone back to find the orcs that took her and held her captive. They had slaughtered the ones they found, but had not been satisfied. There was no doubt that the orcs were evil and Middle-earth would be better off without them but Elladan and Elrohir had decided to personally see to the task. They would stay in Middle-earth, she knew, although their new purpose saddened her. Elrond would be able to stop them with a word before it got out of hand. But he would not because, she suspected, he did not entirely disagree with their mission. 

Her thoughts turned to Arwen. Although there were some things a girl needed her mother for, fathers and daughters, in her experience, had a more unique relationship. He did not have favourites but Elrond took great delight in his only daughter and youngest child and he would hate for them to be parted. He had told her how Arwen had been a great comfort to him while they waited for her return. With the twins gone more often than not, Elrond would once again welcome the company of his daughter. 

She did not have to be able to hear the words to know what was being said. Nor did Elrond need to tell her when he returned. Entering the room, all he said was her name before she realised she was crying. He took her in his arms and she wondered how she would find the strength to leave and how Elrond would find the strength to let her go. 

She had merely been existing until now, sometimes not even being able to find reasons to get out of bed. Until Elrond had suggested Valinor to her she had only been able to see the days stretch before her - each one the same. Now, to ensure her happiness she would have to abandon him. He had known too much loss in his life and yet he still allowed Isildur's heirs to live here, the deaths of each one compounding that loss. This is why I love him, she thought. He has so much strength and compassion he will not rest until everyone around him is content, even at the expense of his own happiness. He would not be joining her soon she realised. But that didn't matter. They had forever and she could wait. 


End file.
